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in the past , you afraid i will leave you . but in th end , is you leave me ... i know my attitude sucks . you given me alot of chances le . but because i care too much ... hais . now say what also no use le . no matter what i said , or what i do . you wont believe ...

22may is your birthday , is also th day our baby died . i told you . but you dont believe . you dont care . you dont even replied my text . why i have to face this alone ? why ? its too torturing . who can i tell to ? what can i do ? i am getting more and more pessimistic each day . keep thinking that its all lies . still continue smoke , drink coke , eat spicy things . hack care what th doc said . didnt even want to go back scan my body . dun even want to spend th money to do operation , take out th baby . keep hurting my body everyday . make myself suffer everyday .

3months and 20days has pass . and i am still missing you , loving you , wanting you back . but you ? you are happily enjoying life w all your friends ...

why must i suffer all this alone . why ? i got alot of bad thinking . i xiang make you suffer twice th pain i suffer . i xiang kill myself so that my mom will blame you . i xiang make you guilty for life . but i she bu de . i see you sad , i will be more sad . i see you happy , i sad nvm ..

huosheng , i really need you now ...

my moodswing is getting more and more worst . same goes to my appetite . th cramps is getting more and more pain . even pain killers also have no effect . i am getting weaker and weaker . stand for 5minutes jiu buay tarhan le . and i need alot of sleep . keep getting tired easily . i hate my life ttm ! somebody can you please kill me ?!?!

i really wish i can move house to east area . w all my ite friends . only being w them i feel happy , cause they dk my past . knowing them , being w them is like having a new self . having a new life . not like in bp , everyone know my past . know my everything . bad de good de also have . and judge by th past . wont believe ppl will change when they grow older . just like him , i nv lied to him before , but whatever i said , he thinks that i am lying .

JASMINE TAN JIE MIN ! i really hate you ttm !!!

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Went to read your blog ... i miss th past ...

May 11 , 2010
Today is a very very special day~~ I 1st time went out wif my PTGF hahas! xD Although got her frenz and i abit paiseh but hahas was fun xD She was sooo cute~ xD Having a very nice day wif dem hahas... Went to Cozy bay wif dem hahas den after tat went to mac and eat... After eating we came back panjang and i pei her home (: hahas... Msging wif her now and use facebook awhile after tat jiu go slp (:

Your smile was everything i wanted, if i could get your smile by hardwork, why not? (:

May 18 , 2010
Although you wont found my blog or wad but i jus post it... I ardy put full feeling into our relationship le even though i am jus part time... I would really like to tell you this, " you got FTBF le uh? hahas okok den we stop msging or not he jealous (: . " If you really have a full time boyfriend i scare that i cnt sae tis to you coz i will very very she bu de jus let you go like tis ): but nvm no matter wad if you really got other FTBF le i will really still hope and and him really last long and i try to let go you even if i cnt, i wont tell you and keep it to myself (: Ferr now i really really love you very much~ (:

I really scare the feeling of losing you ):

May 20 , 2010
I saw wad you tell mi, after seeing tat my heart felt so sour really really felt so sour ): even now whn typing i still have the feeling... Nvm as a part time w will hlp you de dun scare you wont face it alone (: although i now felt heartache but i will still hlp you till the end till you ask mi to go (: you really jus nid time and determination jiu can le no worries ok? (: wish you dun stress urself too much (:

How long can i stay wif you?

May 24 , 2010
I was keep tinking, yes we both are very sweet to each other but i dunno why i jus got a feeling tat you will anything jus walk away frm mi ): not i dun trust you is jus tat i dunno why i felt tis way... Anyway thanks you Part-time girlfriend ferr everything~ i dunno we can be tgt ferr how long but i will really treasure everytime we have~ (: Whn tat day you are going , pls atleast tell mi b4 you leave so i can bless you (: At here i will really wish tat you will found a guy shuai shuai, quite rich, good character and treat you very very good (: Whn you are with him you will felt really really xinfu (: Jiayoohs hwaiting GF! (:

June 11 , 2010
Back to post le (: Tis few weeks going out wif you and being wif you is really very happy (: Whn i am wif you i felt ta you wont leave mi... But whn i left you ferr work or wad, i jus felt tat you will leave mi anytime coz too many guys are chasing you le... Even though you sae tat you wont like other sg guys except mi, I really believe but i dunno i jus tink i wont suit you. I love you thats why i wont stop you from contacting other guy coz if you really like other guy i will be very happy oso coz i really wan you to be happy (: I dunno why all my ex i jus want to keep dem to mi and guy tok to dem i will super du lan... But ferr you, guys tok to you although i will jealous and heart felt sour, i will still let you chat or msg demcoz if you like dem dn i will leave... I cnt possibly keep you by my side whn you start to hve no feeling ferr mi de (: Last time i keep tell my ex stead tat " I only wan you happy so lik other guy oso can" last time all was bluff de... But now wif you although i will jealous but i really dun mind you like other guy but i only request ferr one thing, if you like other guy jus tell mi the truth ok? I will be fine de i will let you have time wif him or maybe totally let you go wif him but no matter wad really atleast tell you mi like other guy le ok? dun nid felt guilty or wad coz huyman find their own love is rite de i dun have the right to stop you... Although you really wont come see my blog but i will jus write out to let myself feel good (: Whn you like other guy i will start to leave you le although will bu she de but i still will force myslef to leave de (: and no matter wad dun felt guilty oso (: loves...

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even my comp also dun allow me to view our photos from my sony memory card ...
back to posting since i so free . plus everyone know my blog rotten le so wont come seesee . goodgood . last post is on oct22 sia . th day i quited kbox . lols .

hais ! i damn miss him uhhs . if is th past jasmine tan jie min , she will definately kill herself , hurt herself , and force th guy come back to her side . if not she will v soon got a new boyf . but this time , she never , she nv do anything . all she do is cry and cry and cry . smoke and text w guys . nv find any boyf . nv do any silly things . even got think of , but she will nv do . cause he know housheng dun like . if she did it , huosheng will hate her more . but no matter what she do , he also wont care about it . even as a friends also wont . always dao her . which makes her heart more heartbroken ):

thanks to IPman2 we then start to chat w each other on fb . on 5may, we first texted . (th day we counted as we tgt le) . know each other for 5yrs yet nv talk before. 1st time text jiu is ptgf ptbf. funny texting about last time we got crush on each other and stuff and have ai mei. rmb once i tell you that th mrt so fast reach simei, you so cute say is because you go drive th mrt :DD and alotalot uhhs. 10may we meetup at plaza, so funny when roger, rachel and ashley keep force we two tgt. disiao us. at cozybay toilet there want pangseh me, only you waited for me. then at mcd, you use all ur money just to buy mcd give me eat. so sweet. then 11may i jiu fall sick le. 12may you pei me go see doc. 12may is me and zhuanghao de dk which month is we havent break, but you are there to cheer me up. help me forget zh. slowly slowly, i fall for you. love you like you are my first love like that. although from start i treat you not good uhhs. keep attitude you. but you still torlerate me. everyday being w you is like dreaming cause both of us nv even thought of being tgt before. plus you nv jio me, i nv jio you, like this jiu tgt le. is so unreal. i thought we cn really last. i thought we really cn be tgt for v v v v long. but idk why this will happen and dk why you cn be so cold-hearted. hais. this is really th v v v 1st time i met my bf's family, eat reunion dinner w them and feel like a family tgt w them. but everything end so fast.. you broke my longest ex record and i cnt broke yours , hais .. i have 4ex. 1st one is marc, breakup because i too attitude, too kpkb. 2nd is gl, breakup because attitude. 3rd is zhuanghao, breakup is also bcox of attitude. but 4th is you, idk th reason ... hais... i really going crazy because of you. this 16days without you i still can survive cause i got mummy and ljm pei me. but i still think of you when i am w them. you know if i want a boyf is as easy as abc, but you know i zuo bu dao? i am differnt from th past. i cnt love you while being w other ppl. i cnt have bf when my heart is nt w them. you know mummy and LJM treat me farfar way better then you? but i still cannot like them. i still like you. this 16days everytime at work LJM entertain me, after work mummy pei me. been so happening, everyday go things do. too much things till supa lack of sleep. but i dk why i still got th fking time to think of you. you know life w you is supa sians? everyday nth do, no friends go out w, etcetc. but if let me choose again, i will choose being w you. sians also nvm. as long as w you, can see you, cn hug you, can kiss you, can bully you, can hear you sing for me, anything also cn make me happy. youknowyouknow? you really meant alot to me. i really dk what to do uhhs. i am so stress now. i needyou. but i am really sorry for what i've done in th past. really v v v sorryyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think alot ystd, decided to not ever contact you! NV! even your birthday on 22may also wont text you! KIMHYUNMIN HWAITING ! you are th guy who make all my wishes come true. we have go sentosa before tgt, go watch movie sweetsweet tgt, celebrate your bday happily tgt, celebrate ny bday tgt, and celebrate alotalot of days tgt. only missed out valentines day ... haiis...

supa stress uhhs. beside stressing about dinghuosheng. i also stress about 2other guy. ):
haiis. being loved is way better than love ppl. but being loved by more than 1 ppl is supa stress.

爱我的人和我爱的人 ! this song best uhhs!
盼不到我爱的人
我知道我愿意再等
疼不了爱我的人
片刻柔情它骗不了人
我不是无情的人
却将你伤的最深
我不忍 我不能
别再认真
忘了我的人
离不开我爱的人
我知道爱需要缘分
放不下爱我的人
因为了解他多么认真
为什么最真的心
碰不到最好的人
我不问 我不能
拥在怀中
直到他变冷
爱我的人为我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对
谁对谁不必虚伪
爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围
离不开我爱的人
我知道爱需要缘分
放不下爱我的人
因为了解他多么认真
为什么最真的心
碰不到最好的人
我不问 我不能
拥在怀中
直到他变冷
爱我的人为我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对
谁对谁不必虚伪
爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围
爱我的人为我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对
谁对谁不必虚伪
爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围

haiis... both also v good to me. but am i going hurt both? or? hais.. i both also dw hurt. idw to make decision. i both also want. but both also gonna get hurt by me. really hope both cn dun like me. faster giveup on me. cause i am really not that good. haiis.. stress uhhs... i like both as a friend and idw to lose both friends. if i be w mummy, go work kan dao ljm, v gan gar. if i be w ljm, at bp kan dao mummy also v weird. worst is v hard to be friends like that. roar !!!!!! love ppl also stress. being love also stress. life simply just fcuk me upside down. but i really v xingfu uhhs. being love by 2 v v v good de guys. ahhhs ! STRESS !

Labels: miss you calling me fat coconut tree T.T

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read your blog today and i miss th past seriously . i really bu xiang shi qu you . i miss th times w you . th time when you are my PTBF . you are my 1st PTBF and my last PTBF ... today text you th question and you replied , find new one bahs ... although hen bu xiang mian dui . but .... T.T 1st time wanna be alone ...



huosheng ,

i really do love you . idk why . 15days without you i still can survuve happily , but deep inside , its pain .. really bu xiang like this jiu end everything . really bu xiang . bu xiang lose you . bu xiang ... wei shen me ni ke yi zen me rong yi jiu fang qi yi qie ? ni bu shi hen ai wo de ma ? ni zen me she de wo zhe me nan guo ? ): ....................................................................

i put on a mask everyday , smiling laughing crazying everyday , dw face th reality , dw to face th fact that you are not by myside . treating everybody as you . imagine th person i text w is you . imagine alot alot alot of things . wo zhen de zuo bu dao ! wo zhen de hen xu yao ni . wo zhen de bu xiang mei you ni .. i need you tonight ... you let me know you are different , you let me know what is xingfu , you let me feel being loved , let me be th only and only in your kingdom , be my rubbishbin when i am sad or stress , be th person to let me flare anger on , let me know what is happy and forget th feel of shilian , let me forget th feel of loneliness , let me know what is family like , teach me how to be more mature , scare i lonely so 247 be by myside , even you hungry still sacrify all you money let me buy cigg eat fullfull , when i emo , you will lend your shoulder for me , when i need you , you will always be there without fail , no matter how tired you are . and alot alot . you are so perfect to me . i hate myself alot . for not cherishing you . wait till you are gone then i regret . i am sorry . and thanks you v much . for giving me 9mths minus 1day de happiness . i am always pessimistic . i really wish to die and forever leave this fking world , leave all this hurts . but idw , i know if i like that , you will hate me more . people say th more you think about th bad things of a person , th more you will hate this ppl and th faster you will forget him . but , there is no bad things about you i cn hate . always i am th one who do stupid things make you angry . but you are th one forgiving me . really really no chance le ? wei shen mo when my thinking is still v childish , you gave me alot of chances , but when my thinking become mature le , i have no more chance . maybe i wasted all th chance le ... i damn fking hate myself uhhs ! i really feel like dying .. really tired of everything le ... how i wish you are here by myside now . wiping my tears off . hug you and cry out loud . and you sayang me say " everything will be alright , i forgive you " i know i am thinking too much ... this things wont happen ... we wont be back tgt anymore . even as a friends also hard ... i really dk what to do next step .... how i wish my life cn end w a fullstop now like how i end this post now .

Labels: i need you tonight ....

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내 남자 친구, 조규현(:

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soo long didnt post lerhhs ;PP
everyday is th same so nth much to post.
everyday at home play casino city. watch lan hai 1+1, hu jiao da ming xing, lang man man wu, pai tuo xiao jie. and recently addicted to maple. ;PP everyday maple. and every tuesday got go k.class except last week xPP. 1st time pon.
18Jul got go out rounding w gl, amanda and gl's friend.
23Jul go plaza eat w kyuri.
25Jul go ahbi house play maple ;PPP
tmr gonna start work!
jasmine hwaiting~!!! (:
will be working at minibits, cwp.
need makeup. diedie le narhhhs ):

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내 남자 친구, 조규현(: